am i a mother ?
what is a mother anyway ?
i went on and i googled it
here the other day

is a mother always a female ?
google didnt really say

i searched for the mother definition
the definition of mother
even though i knew it would hurt to see it

mother
a woman in relation to her child or children 

   
    i wasnt surprised
    of course i wasnt
    still it made me black out for a second

    then i quickly closed the laptop
    but i opened it again
    and closed the page with the definition

    it didnt help to puke 
    so i cut 
    deeper than i know i should

    am i wrong ?
    i feel wrong